Sometimes I feel like I’m choking without you.
Some would argue that it’s the obnoxious smelling candles lit through-out my apartment, but no no, this is something far more involved. This is the feeling of anxiety. Those moments when you have to remind yourself to just breathe.
You see, I can’t talk to you. I mean, how would I even begin to contact you? I can’t see you. I can’t feel you, smell you, or hear you. Some might even call you imaginary- but you’re so much more real than that.
As I sit in my thinking chair this morning (yes, I have a thinking chair), and drink my dark roast coffee, I sift through my mind hoping that I didn’t somehow miss you somewhere along the way. It’s the over-thinking that gets me worked up. I feel this incredible energy surge through my body full of frustration and jealousy. I need you here! I need you now! Where are you!?
Okay relax. Just breathe. In. Out. Don’t let her see your weakness.
Time to prepare for my day. Shirt and tie. After all, maybe today is the day we meet. I couldn’t think of a more perfect time.
See you soon.