Sometimes I feel like I’m choking without you.
Some would argue that it’s the obnoxious smelling candles lit through-out my apartment, but no no, this is something far more involved. This is the feeling of anxiety. Those moments when you have to remind yourself to just breathe.
You see, I can’t talk to you. I mean, how would I even begin to contact you? I can’t see you. I can’t feel you, smell you, or hear you. Some might even call you imaginary- but you’re so much more real than that.
As I sit in my thinking chair this morning (yes, I have a thinking chair), and drink my dark roast coffee, I sift through my mind hoping that I didn’t somehow miss you somewhere along the way. It’s the over-thinking that gets me worked up. I feel this incredible energy surge through my body full of frustration and jealousy. I need you here! I need you now! Where are you!?
Okay relax. Just breathe. In. Out. Don’t let her see your weakness.
Time to prepare for my day. Shirt and tie. After all, maybe today is the day we meet. I couldn’t think of a more perfect time.
See you soon.
My Nonna used to always say to me “your time will come”. Just remember that. The time for you to meet her… to hear her voice, smell her hair, feel her breath on your neck, feel her hand clasping yours, feel the butterflies in your stomach praying that the feeling never leaves… that time will come and you won’t remember what it was like not to have her in your arms
I hope your Nonna’s right (mine used to say the same thing). But then again, she also said “eat…EAT! You’re skin and bones!” as she shoveled a third helping of pasta on my plate and placed a platter of cookies in front of me. My figure regrets it every day. haha
haha Pasta and cookies… my weakness! When I was younger when I wanted more than three cookies after Sunday dinner and my mom said no, my nonna would say “aww Marlene let her have another one” and then she would sneak me cookies when my mom wasn’t looking. Thanks for reminding me of great memories!
Happy Weekend.
That was really great! I didn’t think anyone could feel the same
Thank you for reading, Cheska! I’m sure there are many Sabatinos out there, I’m just a little more vocal. haha
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I seriously love your writing. Amazing. Every post is inspiring and beautiful.
Thank you! That means so much to me!
I love this blog..the words stirred a warm fuzzy feeling deep inside.
Thank you so much!