Not every encounter produces fireworks, dilate your pupils, or make your palms sweat. You gotta look real close. Some just start out with a “she’s got a nice smile” and “he has a great handshake.”
Over time, this may develop into something more – a deeper friendship or maybe even a romantic
relationship. If you think it’s just going to be the former, congratulations! You’ve now found a wonderful person whom you can share your life with and learn from. If it’s the latter, congratulations! You’ve now found a wonderful person whom you can share your life with and learn from. And kiss. A lot.
A lot is how much you like her and how much she likes you back. No crazy red flags flapping in the air,
no deal breakers found. Leap, you fool! Don’t let your previous bad experiences dictate what you could
have. The past is just that, the past and its hold on you is only as strong as you let it to be. If you’re not
ready to move on, don’t. You don’t have to rush it. Heal and become one again. But if you think you’ve
given yourself enough time and are ready, then take another step and fall.
Fall into the trappings of a new relationship can leave you swept up in a dreamy state where everything
is just frickin’ perfect. My wish for you is that you never have to wake up from that dream, but that may
be wishing for too much. When your bubble has burst and you’re brought back down to earth with such
petty fights like wearing socks to bed, taking out the garbage, or hogging the bathroom, remember to
listen. Do not listen like you are just waiting for your turn to start complaining. Listen with the intent of
understanding why because it’s really not just about dishes or not being able to decide on where to have
dinner. And if it is just about the petty things, then take a step back and reassess. Either this is a small
hump on the road to a lifetime together or this is the beginning of a different search.
The search for that all-elusive One can leave even the strongest of lovers in despair especially if it’s been
a particularly long and tiring battle. How can you be expected to keep going out there, wading through
the sludge, fighting for all that is good and pure, spend every ounce of energy you’ve got, and still come
home with nothing to show for it? One can get tired. And hopeless.
Take off your armor, my darlings. Lay them down and come sit by the fire. Huddle around the warmth,
take comfort in the company, and find respite from the dreary days. Be renewed and strengthened by
the words of those who have loved, lost, fallen, and soared. Tomorrow you journey forth to seek, but
today you rest and find peace and be the one sought out.
(Photo courtesy of http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Leaps-of-Faith-Living-Without-Fear-Martha-Beck)